Are you finally ready to get it together and create a REAL life for yourself and let your young person do the same?
If you’re struggling with how to do this, letting go and letting launch thing the following may sound familiar…
You’re experiencing a lingering dependence of your young person on you for everything from toiletries to tuition and a whole variety of other stuff that they could and should be able to manage independently.
You yearn to be able to do things on your own but there is always something that gets in the way…
You have tried to clarify and voice your own thoughts about life and work and how to do the adult thing and your young person and you seem to always butt heads.
You are tired of living in constant conflict with your young person drowning in a sea of confusion and conflict that seems inevitable and should be avoidable.
You try to set goals and boundaries but your young person seems to have a mind of their own and they should but they are still living in YOUR HOME.
You’d really like to find a middle ground so you and your young person can get along and be more supportive with and to one another.
You sometimes even feel pulled by different “parts” of yourself: one part secretly wishes you could help them get a clue and the other part makes you want to wring their neck. You are mad at yourself for repeatedly giving in and allowing yourself to be manipulated by the puppy dog look and another part is perplexed by how others seem to confidently navigate this phase of life and launch their young person out of the nest without a glitch.
Whatever you’re feeling and experiencing, I want you to know, it’s very, very common. And there’s a definite way out.
Let’s first figure out how you got here, okay?
On a good note, you’ve probably been a very loving parents (perhaps even overly loving). Maybe making the nest feel a wee bit too comfy and giving them all that you could to help them launch.
Or you may have laid the law and been NOTHING like this and still your almost 30 something is occupying their childhood room seemingly unready and unwilling to move out and become the confident and capable adult you know he/she can be.
In BOTH cases, the result can often lead to a crisis of codependence.
The kind that makes you secretly think that you are responsible and they really can’t do “it” on your own or worse, that you weren’t meant for anything of value.
Listen, it’s not really your fault.
Whether you have been a very involved parent or some other variation, no one is given a handbook that outlines every aspect of parenting for every child/young person. So how could you have landed in a different place in life?
Add to this a society that seems to undermine your efforts and teaches your young person plenty of “book stuff” but not the “how to do life” stuff. It’s no wonder many of our youth are floundering.
Smart, capable and willing young people everywhere today are struggling with the disconnect between the push to be great in school and the lack of guidance on real life matters like work, relationships, making good life decisions and more.
The result is an epidemic of people, in their 40s and 50s, who wake up with a deep sense of dissatisfaction and wonder “hey wait a minute, I did what I was told to do and this is my life?? Why doesn’t it feel like MY life?”
The good news is, there is a better way.
There are a set of skills that you can learn that can help you Guide and step aside so that your young person will find their way more quickly.
You can learn to think critically about your involvement and over involvement in your young person’s life and decisions and choose wisely…
You can learn how to change from telling to guiding your young person when it matters most and allowing them for find their own way in the world with your support.
You can learn to let go like Catherine did. Catherine struggled to let her 20 year old daughter explore her own interests, instead trying to channel her into a career that would give her “a real job.”. Sound familiar? To Catherine’s dismay her daughter was rebellious to say the least and worked hard at doing anything to get under Catherine’s skin and on on her last nerve. After many conflictual attempts to tell her daughter what she should take in college she finally came to understand that her approach and her technique was having the adverse reaction. Her daughter had the right to choose what interested her and pursue her own goals and dreams even if that meant she would be following a career path that was less predictable. With the development of some really portable practices she learned to calm her mind, focus on her thoughts and goals and identify what she could do to guide and step aside, to mentor rather than manipulate her daughter and an amazing thing happened. Her daughter started to share with her what she was truly passionate about and include Catherine in ways that helped Catherine see her daughter differently and more like the capable young person that she could be doing something that inspired her and enlivened her, rather than playing it safe…..like Catherine did. Catherine is now doing more things for herself and recently enrolled in Yoga Teacher Training that she had put off so many times to “help” her daughter.
You too can create more harmonious relationships with your young person and get out of their way so that both you and they can live a life that fits, your own individual goals and vision of happiness and that will make you feel alive inside and out.
I’ve been on both sides of this equations. I’ve been the young person and the parent of my own now young adults and you can and will surthrive!
Hi, I am Jackie Muller, a licensed clinical social worker, professional coach and creator of the Dynamic Intervention Family Partnership Program for Parents, their young people and others included under your definition of Family.
I too was once lonely and frustrated by the discouraging guidance of those who “knew best for me.”
So much so that at the young age of 20, I found myself confused by the whole adult thing.
I was under skilled, under educated, unemployed and the mother of a newborn baby girl.
I didn’t have a clue of what I wanted to be when I grew up, and found myself in a life that got real, really fast.
After the wake up call of becoming a young mother, I vowed not to become the “failure to launch” statistic and to create a life by my own design.
Rather than surrender to defeat, I put on my big girl shoes and left no rock unturned, no doorway unopened and now, here I am today ready to show you how.
Almost 29 years later, as I look back, I can now to tell you that with courage and the proper guidance you will be successful at anything you set your mind toward.
Since then I’ve developed a signature system for helping Young adults and parents, like you, who want more, but just aren’t sure how to get there, and aren’t even sure if you CAN get “there.”
I bridge the gap between the intellectual “stuff” they taught you in school, and the real life “stuff” on how to be a happy, confident and successful adult on your own terms, including handling life’s curveballs that typically throw you off track whenever you have tried to do this on your own in the past.
I promise you, if you’re ready to realize your true purpose, and get clear about what you want and how to create it, and finally tackle making decisions uninterrupted by and un influenced by well meaning others, then you are definitely in the right place.
Take the first step and see if this is right for you. APPLY FOR A FREE DISCOVERY SESSION.
If you’re absolutely ready to get this handled, I’d love to talk and see if you and I are a good fit for working closely together. The first step is to apply for a free discovery session HERE
Not sure yet? Check out my approach page HERE and learn more about the kind of topics I cover with my millennial clients.
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